Me and Trouble

(This is an observational rant and is not intended toward any specific person or group or issue. Thank you, Happy reading.)



My mouth has a way of getting me into trouble, mostly because we live in a world where everyone expects to be told the truth, but they expect that truth to always be skewed in their favor. For example you may have a working relationship with someone, after the job is done you acknowledge you are happy with the job, proud of it even, but felt that one aspect of how it all played out was a hassle, more of a hassle than you expected because the other party veered off course and you had to come in and “fix” or “adjust” how you were going to proceed with your part because of their actions – remember though, You already said you are happy with how it all went down and the final outcome. Now in my mind I’d think an average Joe would just understand what is being said and move on, but there are people out there who take that kind of statement ridiculously personal. Regardless of if it’s True.

Now some might site professional courtesy on that stuff. They may be right. Perhaps it’s just better to keep that stuff between the parties involved, but even then, do you really that that person would handle the critique any different? I don’t.

Another way people want things skewed in their favor is in personal relationships. Most people seem to only want to hear one of two things: 1. Info that will benefit them like make them happy, laugh, pleasured, or content. 2. Info that will allow them to be upset with someone else. They NEVER want to hear where they may have messed up, dropped the ball or need to improve. Think about it. If you took your lady’s last chocolate, she wants to know so she can be pissed at you, but if she takes yours, and you are upset what happens when you tell her? She gets mad at you for being so selfish. Or your man wont be able to watch the game he recorded because you accidently deleted it while flipping through the DVR for the most recent Bones episode, he’ll want to know so he can fuss about how you inconvenienced his life, but you try to tell him how his staying out too late and forgetting your dinner plans left you home alone to watch Bones in the first place and he doesn’t want to hear it.

Now those are just examples and I’ve brought them up in conversations with others and the most common response is for someone to start their statement with “Well I don’t do that all the time…” Really? So what you are again refusing to admit is your own fault. What you could have said as an accountable, caring adult is “I am guilty of that.” Why? Because it doesn’t matter if it’s some of the time or part of the time, if you do it, YOU DO IT.

My mouth will get me into trouble because I will say the things, or ask the questions a lot of people won’t. Which is a claim I have heard others say, but all they mean is “I like to say random pointless crap to try to shock and startle those around me.” Not my point at all. I’m not a fan of pointless, random conversation about nothing. I don’t want to talk to you about the weather, or shopping, or your superficial concerns that sound major when you complain in that whiney tone, but actually have no real impact on your life. On top of that, when things are brought to me, and people say “this is your fault, you did this wrong.” I’ll take it. Ask anyone in my house, my wife and kids, if it’s my fault, it’s my fault, and I don’t enjoy hearing it. But I want to hear it. I ask for it. Otherwise, how am I supposed to know? Then after I have it, I make adjustments and try to be better than I was for those around me. But my mouth still gets me in trouble. I say what I believe, I say what I think, I don’t always have a successful PC filter to spare the feelings or opinionated viewpoints of others. It is okay. I really don’t plan on changing any time soon.

I really enjoy hearing what people think. Love it! I also get so annoyed when people say things that are worded with the only purpose is to make allowance or pacify for the sake of another person. Like everyone has to always be made welcome, or every perspective included. That’s living a lie. That’s not how it is. I’m not condoning actions to attack or make other people or opinions unwelcome, not at all. But to think that adjustments need to be made or conceded to just for one group, viewpoint, or party over another is ridiculous.

Here is an example: I love black people. Love em! Love all different cultures, be that Hispanic, Chinese, Vietnamese, Native American, whomever, I find who they are, what they believe, what they love, I find it fascinating. But I’m WHITE. I know that no matter how much I respect, admire, or appreciate anyone in them or the groups as a whole; there are some very specific moments they just aren’t going to want me around simply because I am White. Notice I say white, because they don’t have any reason to care what nationalities make up who I am. That’s fine. I don’t even think its racist. They don’t have to want me around. They don’t have to like me. Why would they? Just because I appreciate them? That’s such a ludicrously selfish way to think.

Sadly some people think that way. They think that just because they want to be involved that accommodations should be made to allow them to be included. Those people are the adult equivalent of the fat kid running home to cry to mommy about how they wouldn’t let him play basket ball at the park. I should know, I was that fat kid. Grow up!

Like I said, my mouth gets me in trouble. Perhaps it always will. I operate on very simple terms. I’ll always be strait with you. I’ll respect you, be kind to you, but if you ask me a question I will tell you the truth of my opinion and if that doesn’t sit well with you or you are a sensitive person well… you have been warned. I don’t baby people. I don’t baby, babies. I want you to like me, but for who I am, not that which you think me to be. That is why I am so forward, and unwavering in my personal demeanor. I would much rather you dislike me with an accurate knowledge of who I am than to do so out of some inferred or assumed perspective. I give a lot to others, and take very little. I live a life of no expectations from other beyond what they commit to giving. I hate compulsory kindnesses such as gifts for special occasions. There is no meaning in that for me. Give me your kindness out of your honest desire to be kind to me because you appreciate me for who I really am, not because of a day on a calendar. If you are loyal to me, I will be likewise in return, if that loyalty is broken I don’t get even, I just keep moving and allow you to go on the path you have shown you desired more than the one we shared together. I’m a peaceful man. I like to explore, understand, and examine life and its idiosyncrasies. I am often miss understood. Yet I am always willing to help explain who I am.

My mouth may get me into trouble, but hopefully you will forgive that and appreciate the genuine nature of who I strive to be. As I will do the same for you always.