Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Thoughts for a Monday
02.13.2012
Today I was hit with some thoughts as I enter into the busiest 90 days of my creative career, and I posted the cliff notes, you may have seen them on Twitter or my Facebook fan club page, but here are my full thoughts… if you would suffer to read them.
--------------------
I'm a Creator, a Storyteller. As much as I do hope you like my work, in truth I do what I do because I like it. If I didn't I wouldn't do it. I only work on projects I like. I don’t go out and take any project just for the pay check, and I know that choice limits my financial success as an artist. I view my work as a whole, and as a brand. Its important to me that when someone picks up a book with my name on it that they can have confidence in the consistency and quality of the product they will enjoy inside. Perhaps it’s the jaded child of 90’s comic books that did it to me. Regardless of the reason, there are certain ‘rules’ you could say, or ‘terms’ that I will do my best to always stick to in my creative career. These things are as important now as they will ever be, because now is the time I set my foundation, and its only on limited time. Something I hope to change.
I work 40+ hours a week at my day job; I put in easy 20+ hours into A.N.A Comics per week. I hope to reverse that by end of 2012. In August of 2011 I gave myself a 12 month goal to be at a point by August 2012 that working full time is not something I HAVE to do. Meaning I want to be making enough money from creative projects so that I could consider reducing my schedule down to a part time position or even now day job at all. It’s a goal, it may or may not happen. That reality has zero impact on the level of effort I am putting into reaching this goal.
My goals will be reached, not on the shoulders of others, but due to the hard work, sacrifice and sweat that I put in to it. I make this statement because of recent current events. Accusations of publishers stiffing their creators, or even other creators not sharing the wealth as it were with their fellow creators on a project. I won’t ever be that guy, not as a co-creator, or as the head of a company. It’s for that exact reason that I say so often that with me, and especially at A.N.A Comics, people don’t work FOR us, people work WITH us. I won’t carry someone to the finish line, but I will help them as much as I can, provided they put in all they have to at least meet me half way. I believe the farmers mentality works best. You put in the hard work, you reap the best crops.
A.N.A Comics is designed to foster opportunity, everyone has an equal shot at success, me, you, anyone. It is about who works for it. My effort is to make A.N.A Comics run and operate on as little funds as possible. Why? So that the profits that are made have a greater potential to be distributed back towards the creators who make the products we sell. Costs have to be covered. Printing books, and producing other products has to be paid for, and on a logistics side someone has to be paid to help make that happen, so those things are taken from profits first and 95% of whatever is remaining goes to the creator. The industry is always changing and growing, and as that happens A.N.A Comics will need to change and grow also. No matter how that plays out, the strongest effort will be maintained at keeping things designed to give creators who work with us the best benefit we can.
These aren't pretty words, & fluffy statements. You want success, you earn success. No one is funding my work. I do it. Since 2004 I have brought new work & new products to every show I do, WHY? Because the fans deserve it, & I deserve it. A.N.A Comics only started in 2009, and even since co-founding the company, it hasn’t paid for my projects. In fact the money I make at shows or from direct sales is what pays for A.N.A Comics. That is how the website is paid for, the charity books, and other efforts we have done. For myself, Adrian, Nicholas, and Rod, A.N.A Comics hasn’t paid for our projects, but we invest in A.N.A Comics to keep it going and make it grow because we believe in what we’re doing!
Even more than that, over the last 10 years, I've helped PROFESSIONALS to print sketchbooks, & maximize their Con experience. These are guys who make a living doing what I hope to make a living doing. I helped them out, shared my knowledge and time FOR FREE. I didn’t ask for compensation, credit, or special consideration. Heck, I have helped guys who after I help them, they have gone on to do other things and we lost touch with each other. So it wasn’t even done for some lasting friendship. I do it because I love this business.
I've watched people more talented than me make excuses & get burned out on this business. Why? Stick together, stay united. There is so much competition, when really we could have greater success if we joined together and worked together. It would not be an easy thing to do. Not all creators can wear multiple hats. Some cannot think from a business stand point, others can’t stand to not be in full control of their project every step of the way. For those who can work as a team, work together, embrace that, and foster it so that we can build the industry of comic books and graphic novels to a level never before enjoyed.
What I say isn't designed to sound nice, its what I believe. I believe in independent creator owned comics, I believe in stories first. I believe story comes before art, before writing, before coloring or lettering. Story is the full concept, the scope, it is what makes us love the property. From there you match up the best writing style, art style, color style and lettering. Story always comes first, and if we make a choice that is not in service to the story, then it is by definition a disservice to the story and to ourselves as creators and our fans.
If you are an Indy Creator & can’t grasp the concept of people having to like YOU as much as your product, learn it. Be genuine & kind. This really shouldn’t need any greater explanation but here it goes. When it comes to opinions, I have a lot of them, all at the ready to share with you. I’m opinionated, and from experience I have learned that, especially in this world of typed and text based conversations, opinions can more often than not cause harm and upset others. So I had to learn the hard way to govern the sharing of those opinions and to keep my statements productive, and positive. But why? Because as an independent creator, my name is synonymous with my work, and as much as I can avoid it I would like both to have a positive opinion connected to it. After all the hours we put into our projects it would suck of people didn’t’ even give it a chance because of something I said. If people think of me as “That angry prick who complains and insults people all the time”, why would they support my projects? They would have no reason to. Even more than that, it only takes ONE incident to create that reputation, and it could be completely false. But it won’t matter. So keep your head up, your mouth in check and focus on the work. By all means have opinions, I do, but think a bit before saying them to others or publically like this on the internet… oh boy.
If your goal is to just get paid, submit to DC/Marvel. If your goal is to create & be rewarded for your hard work, please stay Independent. – Why do I say that? Let’s use Image comics as an example. When you make a book for Image comics, THEY DON’T PAY YOU TO DO THE WORK. You will however get paid based on the success of your book. It’s a great set up that has been working good for them for 20 years now. Most people don’t like it. They think “Hey, I put in 8+ hours on this page, I should be paid for it NOW.” And that is great, but if you want to be paid for your work and not on whether your book sells, you need to be hired by a corporation, a publisher. Don’t get me wrong on this one. Go get hired by DC, Marvel, IDW, Dark Horse, Aspen, Top Cow, whoever because it would be awesome. I would like to do some work for those guys down the line. Absolutely! My point is there are two primary sides to making comic books. Know which one you are on, and put in your 100% while you’re there. If you don’t really want to be there, be honest about that. Reassess your position and don’t screw it up for those who are happy where they are.
Maybe it’s just pointless to say this stuff. Facts are facts. I want to succeed. I want you to succeed. We can do it together. I'm a Creator, a Storyteller, I don’t settle for anything less than my best work. I push myself, believe in myself, I will succeed. I post what I do, my thoughts, what I have learned in this industry for one simple reason; I want you to succeed also. And if what I know can help you get what you want faster, do it!
MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!
Today I was hit with some thoughts as I enter into the busiest 90 days of my creative career, and I posted the cliff notes, you may have seen them on Twitter or my Facebook fan club page, but here are my full thoughts… if you would suffer to read them.
--------------------
I'm a Creator, a Storyteller. As much as I do hope you like my work, in truth I do what I do because I like it. If I didn't I wouldn't do it. I only work on projects I like. I don’t go out and take any project just for the pay check, and I know that choice limits my financial success as an artist. I view my work as a whole, and as a brand. Its important to me that when someone picks up a book with my name on it that they can have confidence in the consistency and quality of the product they will enjoy inside. Perhaps it’s the jaded child of 90’s comic books that did it to me. Regardless of the reason, there are certain ‘rules’ you could say, or ‘terms’ that I will do my best to always stick to in my creative career. These things are as important now as they will ever be, because now is the time I set my foundation, and its only on limited time. Something I hope to change.
I work 40+ hours a week at my day job; I put in easy 20+ hours into A.N.A Comics per week. I hope to reverse that by end of 2012. In August of 2011 I gave myself a 12 month goal to be at a point by August 2012 that working full time is not something I HAVE to do. Meaning I want to be making enough money from creative projects so that I could consider reducing my schedule down to a part time position or even now day job at all. It’s a goal, it may or may not happen. That reality has zero impact on the level of effort I am putting into reaching this goal.
My goals will be reached, not on the shoulders of others, but due to the hard work, sacrifice and sweat that I put in to it. I make this statement because of recent current events. Accusations of publishers stiffing their creators, or even other creators not sharing the wealth as it were with their fellow creators on a project. I won’t ever be that guy, not as a co-creator, or as the head of a company. It’s for that exact reason that I say so often that with me, and especially at A.N.A Comics, people don’t work FOR us, people work WITH us. I won’t carry someone to the finish line, but I will help them as much as I can, provided they put in all they have to at least meet me half way. I believe the farmers mentality works best. You put in the hard work, you reap the best crops.
A.N.A Comics is designed to foster opportunity, everyone has an equal shot at success, me, you, anyone. It is about who works for it. My effort is to make A.N.A Comics run and operate on as little funds as possible. Why? So that the profits that are made have a greater potential to be distributed back towards the creators who make the products we sell. Costs have to be covered. Printing books, and producing other products has to be paid for, and on a logistics side someone has to be paid to help make that happen, so those things are taken from profits first and 95% of whatever is remaining goes to the creator. The industry is always changing and growing, and as that happens A.N.A Comics will need to change and grow also. No matter how that plays out, the strongest effort will be maintained at keeping things designed to give creators who work with us the best benefit we can.
These aren't pretty words, & fluffy statements. You want success, you earn success. No one is funding my work. I do it. Since 2004 I have brought new work & new products to every show I do, WHY? Because the fans deserve it, & I deserve it. A.N.A Comics only started in 2009, and even since co-founding the company, it hasn’t paid for my projects. In fact the money I make at shows or from direct sales is what pays for A.N.A Comics. That is how the website is paid for, the charity books, and other efforts we have done. For myself, Adrian, Nicholas, and Rod, A.N.A Comics hasn’t paid for our projects, but we invest in A.N.A Comics to keep it going and make it grow because we believe in what we’re doing!
Even more than that, over the last 10 years, I've helped PROFESSIONALS to print sketchbooks, & maximize their Con experience. These are guys who make a living doing what I hope to make a living doing. I helped them out, shared my knowledge and time FOR FREE. I didn’t ask for compensation, credit, or special consideration. Heck, I have helped guys who after I help them, they have gone on to do other things and we lost touch with each other. So it wasn’t even done for some lasting friendship. I do it because I love this business.
I've watched people more talented than me make excuses & get burned out on this business. Why? Stick together, stay united. There is so much competition, when really we could have greater success if we joined together and worked together. It would not be an easy thing to do. Not all creators can wear multiple hats. Some cannot think from a business stand point, others can’t stand to not be in full control of their project every step of the way. For those who can work as a team, work together, embrace that, and foster it so that we can build the industry of comic books and graphic novels to a level never before enjoyed.
What I say isn't designed to sound nice, its what I believe. I believe in independent creator owned comics, I believe in stories first. I believe story comes before art, before writing, before coloring or lettering. Story is the full concept, the scope, it is what makes us love the property. From there you match up the best writing style, art style, color style and lettering. Story always comes first, and if we make a choice that is not in service to the story, then it is by definition a disservice to the story and to ourselves as creators and our fans.
If you are an Indy Creator & can’t grasp the concept of people having to like YOU as much as your product, learn it. Be genuine & kind. This really shouldn’t need any greater explanation but here it goes. When it comes to opinions, I have a lot of them, all at the ready to share with you. I’m opinionated, and from experience I have learned that, especially in this world of typed and text based conversations, opinions can more often than not cause harm and upset others. So I had to learn the hard way to govern the sharing of those opinions and to keep my statements productive, and positive. But why? Because as an independent creator, my name is synonymous with my work, and as much as I can avoid it I would like both to have a positive opinion connected to it. After all the hours we put into our projects it would suck of people didn’t’ even give it a chance because of something I said. If people think of me as “That angry prick who complains and insults people all the time”, why would they support my projects? They would have no reason to. Even more than that, it only takes ONE incident to create that reputation, and it could be completely false. But it won’t matter. So keep your head up, your mouth in check and focus on the work. By all means have opinions, I do, but think a bit before saying them to others or publically like this on the internet… oh boy.
If your goal is to just get paid, submit to DC/Marvel. If your goal is to create & be rewarded for your hard work, please stay Independent. – Why do I say that? Let’s use Image comics as an example. When you make a book for Image comics, THEY DON’T PAY YOU TO DO THE WORK. You will however get paid based on the success of your book. It’s a great set up that has been working good for them for 20 years now. Most people don’t like it. They think “Hey, I put in 8+ hours on this page, I should be paid for it NOW.” And that is great, but if you want to be paid for your work and not on whether your book sells, you need to be hired by a corporation, a publisher. Don’t get me wrong on this one. Go get hired by DC, Marvel, IDW, Dark Horse, Aspen, Top Cow, whoever because it would be awesome. I would like to do some work for those guys down the line. Absolutely! My point is there are two primary sides to making comic books. Know which one you are on, and put in your 100% while you’re there. If you don’t really want to be there, be honest about that. Reassess your position and don’t screw it up for those who are happy where they are.
Maybe it’s just pointless to say this stuff. Facts are facts. I want to succeed. I want you to succeed. We can do it together. I'm a Creator, a Storyteller, I don’t settle for anything less than my best work. I push myself, believe in myself, I will succeed. I post what I do, my thoughts, what I have learned in this industry for one simple reason; I want you to succeed also. And if what I know can help you get what you want faster, do it!
MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Watchmen_DC comics and A.N.A COMICS
“Man! Really? I lost that much time in my day worrying about what a billion dollar company is doing?”
That’s pretty much it. The people around me, the fellow creators I talk to or follow online are all afire with talk about new announcements from DC Comics today regarding their property WATCHMEN.
The whole thing fascinates me, especially now as I try to build A.N.A Comics and bring it to a whole new level. I really don’t care what DC Comics or any other publisher is doing. I care what A.N.A Comics is doing and what we are bringing to the industry.
I love comic books, I love the method of storytelling and the range it provides creators to express themselves. For my part, I can get wrapped up in the potentially poor choices of other people in this industry, or I can focus on making the right choices for myself and my team. I cannot do both.
That’s pretty much it. The people around me, the fellow creators I talk to or follow online are all afire with talk about new announcements from DC Comics today regarding their property WATCHMEN.
The whole thing fascinates me, especially now as I try to build A.N.A Comics and bring it to a whole new level. I really don’t care what DC Comics or any other publisher is doing. I care what A.N.A Comics is doing and what we are bringing to the industry.
I love comic books, I love the method of storytelling and the range it provides creators to express themselves. For my part, I can get wrapped up in the potentially poor choices of other people in this industry, or I can focus on making the right choices for myself and my team. I cannot do both.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Updates 01.19.2012
PROJECT UPDATE – THE MIDNIGHT RAIDER: Revisions were needed for issue 1 and with those complete we are rescanning in all the pages, then its off to be re-lettered and colored for final production. Once the pages for issue 1 are all colored and lettered we will first be printing the Exclusive IndieGOGO edition for those awesome few to donated to our campaign and helped us reach this point in our j...ourney. After that The Midnight Raider issue 1 will release digitally through anacomics.com and other outlets, with the print edition of the book scheduled for release this summer.
Layouts for issue 2 are complete, and final pencil work has begun. The goal is to have a special Midnight Edition release in May, similar to how we released issue 1 before. Once that happens, the book will move along in the production process to be colored and art on the third book will begin.
We want to thank again all who have supported this project from the beginning! The Midnight Raider is coming and volume 2 is currently being plotted out. We are confident this will prove to be well worth the wait!
THOUGHTS ON GROUP FUNDING: I’ve used both Kickstarter and IndieGOGO for group funding campaigns, and with recent conversations I’ve seen people having I thought I would share some thoughts I have on the topic.
First off I want to say that it is worth trying. More than anything it doesn’t cost you anything to try, specifically with Kickstarter. Group funding provides us as creators with a platform to basically poll our target audience and test the waters before taking to many decisive actions. But does it work? Will it help you? And Whats the catch?
First it is important to know the general differences between Kickstarter and IndieGOGO, for the specifics please take the time to read through their websites. Biggest difference is that Kickstarter is an all or nothing pledge based situation, and IndieGOGO is a donation based program. How this impacts you up front is in your incentives. With Kickstarter you can plan with the understanding that your incentives are only filled after your goal is reached, yet with IndieGOGO you can only get one donation but you have to be prepaired to fulfill the incentive because you receive the money from each donation received.
As far as I know there is no sure way to success beyond knowing or having access to enough people who are willing to donate the minimum amount, helping your reach your goal. To a certain extent many people feel a rush a vulnerability when they put themselves out there, and when you don’t meet your goal it can sting. My greatest piece of advice would be to have at least 75-80% of your project complete before ever starting your campaign. This does two strong things for you. First it puts you in a position of confidence being able to say to your would be backers that you are already that close to completion. This allows them to donate with more confidence, trusting that in a short span of time the product they just pledged to support will be available for enjoyment. This confidense will hopefully also lead to more frequent donations and you reaching your goal sooner. Second, having that much of your project completed, should your funding goals be reached it will be easier to set aside the time to fulfill all the incentives you’ll likely have.
Its good to know your timelines. Which many times will require asking for input from other, but the knowlegde is invaluable. Having this info will allow you to accurately communicate with your supporters. My first campaign was for a graphic novel, it failed. Which part of me believes is because of the long timeline remaining on the project. So when I did my second campaign it was on a much shorter timeline, yet I had another lesson to learn also about timelines.
Being so accustume to my own side of the process I didn’t accurately take into the account of the other parties involved in the production of the project. On top of that we only raised $565, which is nothing compaired to what it costs to produce a full comic book. Thankfully the creators involved are all contributing their talents at no charge, however since this is not a paying gig, its also can not supercede their need to complete paying work. Its all a test in patience and keeping oneself focussed on the tasks at hand.
Would having raised a larger amount impacted the time lines of things? Yes. If a surplus was collected than a small amount could have been used to pay for assistance. This did not happen for me, so we are having to make due.
The benefit of this information for you is that you might learn from my mistakes. Hopefully group funding, though overly saturated by some opinions, could continue to help support independent comic book creators and help all of us get our stories out there!
Layouts for issue 2 are complete, and final pencil work has begun. The goal is to have a special Midnight Edition release in May, similar to how we released issue 1 before. Once that happens, the book will move along in the production process to be colored and art on the third book will begin.
We want to thank again all who have supported this project from the beginning! The Midnight Raider is coming and volume 2 is currently being plotted out. We are confident this will prove to be well worth the wait!
THOUGHTS ON GROUP FUNDING: I’ve used both Kickstarter and IndieGOGO for group funding campaigns, and with recent conversations I’ve seen people having I thought I would share some thoughts I have on the topic.
First off I want to say that it is worth trying. More than anything it doesn’t cost you anything to try, specifically with Kickstarter. Group funding provides us as creators with a platform to basically poll our target audience and test the waters before taking to many decisive actions. But does it work? Will it help you? And Whats the catch?
First it is important to know the general differences between Kickstarter and IndieGOGO, for the specifics please take the time to read through their websites. Biggest difference is that Kickstarter is an all or nothing pledge based situation, and IndieGOGO is a donation based program. How this impacts you up front is in your incentives. With Kickstarter you can plan with the understanding that your incentives are only filled after your goal is reached, yet with IndieGOGO you can only get one donation but you have to be prepaired to fulfill the incentive because you receive the money from each donation received.
As far as I know there is no sure way to success beyond knowing or having access to enough people who are willing to donate the minimum amount, helping your reach your goal. To a certain extent many people feel a rush a vulnerability when they put themselves out there, and when you don’t meet your goal it can sting. My greatest piece of advice would be to have at least 75-80% of your project complete before ever starting your campaign. This does two strong things for you. First it puts you in a position of confidence being able to say to your would be backers that you are already that close to completion. This allows them to donate with more confidence, trusting that in a short span of time the product they just pledged to support will be available for enjoyment. This confidense will hopefully also lead to more frequent donations and you reaching your goal sooner. Second, having that much of your project completed, should your funding goals be reached it will be easier to set aside the time to fulfill all the incentives you’ll likely have.
Its good to know your timelines. Which many times will require asking for input from other, but the knowlegde is invaluable. Having this info will allow you to accurately communicate with your supporters. My first campaign was for a graphic novel, it failed. Which part of me believes is because of the long timeline remaining on the project. So when I did my second campaign it was on a much shorter timeline, yet I had another lesson to learn also about timelines.
Being so accustume to my own side of the process I didn’t accurately take into the account of the other parties involved in the production of the project. On top of that we only raised $565, which is nothing compaired to what it costs to produce a full comic book. Thankfully the creators involved are all contributing their talents at no charge, however since this is not a paying gig, its also can not supercede their need to complete paying work. Its all a test in patience and keeping oneself focussed on the tasks at hand.
Would having raised a larger amount impacted the time lines of things? Yes. If a surplus was collected than a small amount could have been used to pay for assistance. This did not happen for me, so we are having to make due.
The benefit of this information for you is that you might learn from my mistakes. Hopefully group funding, though overly saturated by some opinions, could continue to help support independent comic book creators and help all of us get our stories out there!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
As We Go Into 2012
Noticing some of my comic industry friends posting on the various social media sites on how they think 2012 will be "their year". I have said similar regarding my own creative goals. The industry is only so big and theoretically there is only so much "success" to go around. I would like to officially say to all my creative peers that I truly hope this is your year!!! I hope you achieve new levels of success and get from 2012 all that you hope to, regardless of how my year turns out, I hope you are given your goals. Please keep posting and keep building this industry. Also keep in touch and let me know how you're doing with everything and I will do my best to promote, support, and assist you all as best I can. Let us, together, make 2012 year the best in independent comic book history!!!
Friday, November 11, 2011
11.11.11
Never forget that you are not one of a kind. That’s not a bad thing. The fact that there are others like you gives you a greater probability of happiness and success. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you would still be here. This worlds social market will have you think you are meant for something great. You really aren’t, none of us h...ave a predestined outcome, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something great. So don’t use that copout that “It wasn’t meant to be.” when things don’t go your way, instead use your freewill and see that though you may have failed, that just means it hasn’t gone your way YET. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can rarely make a difference in the world as a whole. In fact we really only have a limited realm of influence on our personal environments, and most people never even difference there, they simply follow the paths tread before them. Still, YOU decide the type of life you will have, and the type of person you will be remembered as. Today people all over are remembering others, loved ones, those who stood up and at times, fought for what they believe in. You’re beliefs may be different, but that’s the thing, they are YOUR beliefs. Don’t be a leaf on the wind, blown about. Instead be a ship, with your sails wide and your rudder firm in the sea, ready for the waves life will bring. Surround yourself with people who are good for you. Those who will both challenge and support you, stand by you and fight with you. Know what you believe and that it’s not some invisible destiny that will make you great, nor is it the person you are.. it is the person you will CHOOSE to be. So be that one person.....Stay true to yourselfSee More
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Me and Trouble
(This is an observational rant and is not intended toward any specific person or group or issue. Thank you, Happy reading.)
My mouth has a way of getting me into trouble, mostly because we live in a world where everyone expects to be told the truth, but they expect that truth to always be skewed in their favor. For example you may have a working relationship with someone, after the job is done you acknowledge you are happy with the job, proud of it even, but felt that one aspect of how it all played out was a hassle, more of a hassle than you expected because the other party veered off course and you had to come in and “fix” or “adjust” how you were going to proceed with your part because of their actions – remember though, You already said you are happy with how it all went down and the final outcome. Now in my mind I’d think an average Joe would just understand what is being said and move on, but there are people out there who take that kind of statement ridiculously personal. Regardless of if it’s True.
Now some might site professional courtesy on that stuff. They may be right. Perhaps it’s just better to keep that stuff between the parties involved, but even then, do you really that that person would handle the critique any different? I don’t.
Another way people want things skewed in their favor is in personal relationships. Most people seem to only want to hear one of two things: 1. Info that will benefit them like make them happy, laugh, pleasured, or content. 2. Info that will allow them to be upset with someone else. They NEVER want to hear where they may have messed up, dropped the ball or need to improve. Think about it. If you took your lady’s last chocolate, she wants to know so she can be pissed at you, but if she takes yours, and you are upset what happens when you tell her? She gets mad at you for being so selfish. Or your man wont be able to watch the game he recorded because you accidently deleted it while flipping through the DVR for the most recent Bones episode, he’ll want to know so he can fuss about how you inconvenienced his life, but you try to tell him how his staying out too late and forgetting your dinner plans left you home alone to watch Bones in the first place and he doesn’t want to hear it.
Now those are just examples and I’ve brought them up in conversations with others and the most common response is for someone to start their statement with “Well I don’t do that all the time…” Really? So what you are again refusing to admit is your own fault. What you could have said as an accountable, caring adult is “I am guilty of that.” Why? Because it doesn’t matter if it’s some of the time or part of the time, if you do it, YOU DO IT.
My mouth will get me into trouble because I will say the things, or ask the questions a lot of people won’t. Which is a claim I have heard others say, but all they mean is “I like to say random pointless crap to try to shock and startle those around me.” Not my point at all. I’m not a fan of pointless, random conversation about nothing. I don’t want to talk to you about the weather, or shopping, or your superficial concerns that sound major when you complain in that whiney tone, but actually have no real impact on your life. On top of that, when things are brought to me, and people say “this is your fault, you did this wrong.” I’ll take it. Ask anyone in my house, my wife and kids, if it’s my fault, it’s my fault, and I don’t enjoy hearing it. But I want to hear it. I ask for it. Otherwise, how am I supposed to know? Then after I have it, I make adjustments and try to be better than I was for those around me. But my mouth still gets me in trouble. I say what I believe, I say what I think, I don’t always have a successful PC filter to spare the feelings or opinionated viewpoints of others. It is okay. I really don’t plan on changing any time soon.
I really enjoy hearing what people think. Love it! I also get so annoyed when people say things that are worded with the only purpose is to make allowance or pacify for the sake of another person. Like everyone has to always be made welcome, or every perspective included. That’s living a lie. That’s not how it is. I’m not condoning actions to attack or make other people or opinions unwelcome, not at all. But to think that adjustments need to be made or conceded to just for one group, viewpoint, or party over another is ridiculous.
Here is an example: I love black people. Love em! Love all different cultures, be that Hispanic, Chinese, Vietnamese, Native American, whomever, I find who they are, what they believe, what they love, I find it fascinating. But I’m WHITE. I know that no matter how much I respect, admire, or appreciate anyone in them or the groups as a whole; there are some very specific moments they just aren’t going to want me around simply because I am White. Notice I say white, because they don’t have any reason to care what nationalities make up who I am. That’s fine. I don’t even think its racist. They don’t have to want me around. They don’t have to like me. Why would they? Just because I appreciate them? That’s such a ludicrously selfish way to think.
Sadly some people think that way. They think that just because they want to be involved that accommodations should be made to allow them to be included. Those people are the adult equivalent of the fat kid running home to cry to mommy about how they wouldn’t let him play basket ball at the park. I should know, I was that fat kid. Grow up!
Like I said, my mouth gets me in trouble. Perhaps it always will. I operate on very simple terms. I’ll always be strait with you. I’ll respect you, be kind to you, but if you ask me a question I will tell you the truth of my opinion and if that doesn’t sit well with you or you are a sensitive person well… you have been warned. I don’t baby people. I don’t baby, babies. I want you to like me, but for who I am, not that which you think me to be. That is why I am so forward, and unwavering in my personal demeanor. I would much rather you dislike me with an accurate knowledge of who I am than to do so out of some inferred or assumed perspective. I give a lot to others, and take very little. I live a life of no expectations from other beyond what they commit to giving. I hate compulsory kindnesses such as gifts for special occasions. There is no meaning in that for me. Give me your kindness out of your honest desire to be kind to me because you appreciate me for who I really am, not because of a day on a calendar. If you are loyal to me, I will be likewise in return, if that loyalty is broken I don’t get even, I just keep moving and allow you to go on the path you have shown you desired more than the one we shared together. I’m a peaceful man. I like to explore, understand, and examine life and its idiosyncrasies. I am often miss understood. Yet I am always willing to help explain who I am.
My mouth may get me into trouble, but hopefully you will forgive that and appreciate the genuine nature of who I strive to be. As I will do the same for you always.
My mouth has a way of getting me into trouble, mostly because we live in a world where everyone expects to be told the truth, but they expect that truth to always be skewed in their favor. For example you may have a working relationship with someone, after the job is done you acknowledge you are happy with the job, proud of it even, but felt that one aspect of how it all played out was a hassle, more of a hassle than you expected because the other party veered off course and you had to come in and “fix” or “adjust” how you were going to proceed with your part because of their actions – remember though, You already said you are happy with how it all went down and the final outcome. Now in my mind I’d think an average Joe would just understand what is being said and move on, but there are people out there who take that kind of statement ridiculously personal. Regardless of if it’s True.
Now some might site professional courtesy on that stuff. They may be right. Perhaps it’s just better to keep that stuff between the parties involved, but even then, do you really that that person would handle the critique any different? I don’t.
Another way people want things skewed in their favor is in personal relationships. Most people seem to only want to hear one of two things: 1. Info that will benefit them like make them happy, laugh, pleasured, or content. 2. Info that will allow them to be upset with someone else. They NEVER want to hear where they may have messed up, dropped the ball or need to improve. Think about it. If you took your lady’s last chocolate, she wants to know so she can be pissed at you, but if she takes yours, and you are upset what happens when you tell her? She gets mad at you for being so selfish. Or your man wont be able to watch the game he recorded because you accidently deleted it while flipping through the DVR for the most recent Bones episode, he’ll want to know so he can fuss about how you inconvenienced his life, but you try to tell him how his staying out too late and forgetting your dinner plans left you home alone to watch Bones in the first place and he doesn’t want to hear it.
Now those are just examples and I’ve brought them up in conversations with others and the most common response is for someone to start their statement with “Well I don’t do that all the time…” Really? So what you are again refusing to admit is your own fault. What you could have said as an accountable, caring adult is “I am guilty of that.” Why? Because it doesn’t matter if it’s some of the time or part of the time, if you do it, YOU DO IT.
My mouth will get me into trouble because I will say the things, or ask the questions a lot of people won’t. Which is a claim I have heard others say, but all they mean is “I like to say random pointless crap to try to shock and startle those around me.” Not my point at all. I’m not a fan of pointless, random conversation about nothing. I don’t want to talk to you about the weather, or shopping, or your superficial concerns that sound major when you complain in that whiney tone, but actually have no real impact on your life. On top of that, when things are brought to me, and people say “this is your fault, you did this wrong.” I’ll take it. Ask anyone in my house, my wife and kids, if it’s my fault, it’s my fault, and I don’t enjoy hearing it. But I want to hear it. I ask for it. Otherwise, how am I supposed to know? Then after I have it, I make adjustments and try to be better than I was for those around me. But my mouth still gets me in trouble. I say what I believe, I say what I think, I don’t always have a successful PC filter to spare the feelings or opinionated viewpoints of others. It is okay. I really don’t plan on changing any time soon.
I really enjoy hearing what people think. Love it! I also get so annoyed when people say things that are worded with the only purpose is to make allowance or pacify for the sake of another person. Like everyone has to always be made welcome, or every perspective included. That’s living a lie. That’s not how it is. I’m not condoning actions to attack or make other people or opinions unwelcome, not at all. But to think that adjustments need to be made or conceded to just for one group, viewpoint, or party over another is ridiculous.
Here is an example: I love black people. Love em! Love all different cultures, be that Hispanic, Chinese, Vietnamese, Native American, whomever, I find who they are, what they believe, what they love, I find it fascinating. But I’m WHITE. I know that no matter how much I respect, admire, or appreciate anyone in them or the groups as a whole; there are some very specific moments they just aren’t going to want me around simply because I am White. Notice I say white, because they don’t have any reason to care what nationalities make up who I am. That’s fine. I don’t even think its racist. They don’t have to want me around. They don’t have to like me. Why would they? Just because I appreciate them? That’s such a ludicrously selfish way to think.
Sadly some people think that way. They think that just because they want to be involved that accommodations should be made to allow them to be included. Those people are the adult equivalent of the fat kid running home to cry to mommy about how they wouldn’t let him play basket ball at the park. I should know, I was that fat kid. Grow up!
Like I said, my mouth gets me in trouble. Perhaps it always will. I operate on very simple terms. I’ll always be strait with you. I’ll respect you, be kind to you, but if you ask me a question I will tell you the truth of my opinion and if that doesn’t sit well with you or you are a sensitive person well… you have been warned. I don’t baby people. I don’t baby, babies. I want you to like me, but for who I am, not that which you think me to be. That is why I am so forward, and unwavering in my personal demeanor. I would much rather you dislike me with an accurate knowledge of who I am than to do so out of some inferred or assumed perspective. I give a lot to others, and take very little. I live a life of no expectations from other beyond what they commit to giving. I hate compulsory kindnesses such as gifts for special occasions. There is no meaning in that for me. Give me your kindness out of your honest desire to be kind to me because you appreciate me for who I really am, not because of a day on a calendar. If you are loyal to me, I will be likewise in return, if that loyalty is broken I don’t get even, I just keep moving and allow you to go on the path you have shown you desired more than the one we shared together. I’m a peaceful man. I like to explore, understand, and examine life and its idiosyncrasies. I am often miss understood. Yet I am always willing to help explain who I am.
My mouth may get me into trouble, but hopefully you will forgive that and appreciate the genuine nature of who I strive to be. As I will do the same for you always.
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